Music of the soul
by shi-chan
Summary: YAOI - RuHana - Hanamichi finds his father's violin and struggles to learn to play it expertly. An accident happens, and once again, he is alone. Where does Rukawa fit in all this?


I was in the airplane last night when I suddenly remembered how much I've always wanted to play the violin. Flight to Manila was okay, counting out the fact that you were sitting next to a complete psychotic stranger. It's been raining cats and dogs here in Las Pinas and there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes wishing the hot burning sun rays in Dubai makes me wonder why I decided to come to Philippines during the monsoon season when I'm supposed to have July and August as a summer holiday. **Sigh**  
  
Hope this is nice! I actually stopped in the middle of my FujiHana fic to write another RuHana. Hee hee.  
  
Enjoy ha?  
  
MUSIC OF THE SOUL  
  
  
  
Sakuragi was Spring-cleaning his house when he came across a black velvet box that was coated in dusted. Curious, he brought it down from the attic and brought it to the living room. He opened the box and found a shiny reddish-brown violin and a bow that looked as if it was handled by only skilful hands. Sakuragi fingered the violin with a smile. He remembered how his dad had been teaching him to play the elegant instrument, but because of his death, no more lessons were given to him. He remembered how his father always wanted him to master the instrument.  
  
Sakuragi looked thoughtful. He would fulfill his father's wish. He took the violin out and played the basic notes. Satisfied that he still knew how to do the basic notes, he figured that taking a few extra lessons to learn how to play properly would not kill. Besides, he knew an aunt who can help him.  
  
  
  
*  
  
Rukawa watched with curiosity as Sakuragi talked to Kogure and Akagi in a low hushed voice, eyes cast down, and face serious. Rukawa's hearings were very sharp and he could hear their conversation.  
  
"Kogure-sempai, Akagi-sempai, would it be all right I leave an hour early?" He asked in a pleading, hopeful and polite tone.  
  
"Skipping practice?" Akagi demanded in an even voice, though Sakuragi calling him Akagi and 'sempai' really made him wonder if the boy was all right.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Kogure asked in concern.  
  
"No, no, no! It's just that, I - umm - I kinda have another lessons an hour before practice ends. Please understand." Sakuragi mumbled, slightly blushing from his actions.  
  
"Well, if you think it's that important, I suppose is okay." Akagi shrugged. Kogure nodded, and beamed at Akagi's understanding.  
  
"Ah! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" Sakuragi began bowing so many times, causing other people in the gym to turn and look, and also cause Kogure and Akagi to blush.  
  
Sakuragi bounced to the locker room and began to change to his school uniform after a hot shower. He left with his trainers and waved goodbye to people in the gym.  
  
Rukawa was not the type to really care where the idiot went, but for him to have a reason to skip practice and be happy about it? Now he was dead curious. Shrugging, he continued to practice his lay ups and dribbling.  
  
*  
  
Two weeks drifted by in a jiff and Sakuragi continued disappearing an hour before practice ends. Sakuragi noticed that his sudden disappearances have roused numerous curiosities in the team. He had to make up lame excuses for having a part time job that happens to start an hour before practice ends. He did not really know how many bought that silly pathetic excuse.  
  
He stepped in to the red, Tudor like two-storey building. The place vaguely smelled of apples. There were a few indoor plants lining the hallway that led to the staircase. Sakuragi's light footsteps made tapping noises as they made contact with the sunny white marble floor that had black and brown spots as their design. He ascended the marble stairs, and stopped in the second floor, to come face to face with a heavy looking oak door, that had the name 'Erika Yukamura' carefully carved on a gold plate. He rang the doorbell, causing the jingle of loud church bells to echo in the silent building. He always wondered why the doorbell sounded like church bells.  
  
The door opened and a petite lady with long brown hair that was in a French plait greeted him. She had wide blue eyes that were concealed behind rather thick silver rimed specs and a heart shaped face and a pale complexion. She was dressed in a simply ankle length pleated white and blue checkered skirt and a white blouse that had a ¾ sleeve.  
  
"Hanamichi! Good evening my boy." She greeted with her shining white smile. "Please come in! Just in time too! I made you some cookies to take home!"  
  
Sakuragi blushed at his aunt's kindness. "Ah! Thank you Aunt Erika." He blushed slightly and laughed. "You're always so nice to me."  
  
"Anything for my dearest nephew! I'm just so happy that you are finally mastering the violin! Your father would be so proud of you! Brother always adored you to no end, except for the naughty bit of course."  
  
Sakuragi had to smile again at this. If there is one good thing about Aunt Erika, it was her straightforward attitude and the encouragement she gave to people. She had welcomed him with open arms when he approached her, all blushing and carrying his father's violin case. She also made sure that he had good dinner after every lesson and helped him with homework if there was the need. She always gave him packed sweets to take him, and why should he complain? Her cookies, pies and cakes were the best anyway. Her husband who has passed away must have been so lucky to have such a sweet and kindhearted woman.  
  
"Come, come!" She led him to her living room, where stacks of music sheets lay. Erika not only played the violin but the piano as well. "Shall we begin?" She asked, smiling.  
  
"Hai!" Sakuragi said and took out his father's violin and stood in his playing stance.  
  
"Play me Beethoven." She said and held out a booklet for him and took one for herself. She sat in front of her shiny black Yamaha piano. Her living room was quite small, since it only had the piano, a TV set and a DVD player, a small wooden coffee table and two baby pink couches. Her curtains were white, trimmed with maroon and she also had a showcase that displayed books, music awards and a few memorable family pictures.  
  
Sakuragi strummed the first note, following Erika's pace. Soon the room was filled with soft brewing music of two souls who both lost their loved ones. It was a rather sad song, even though it was Beethoven. It was the atmosphere that it was being played in that made it sad and rather regretful of past happenings that were just way beyond reach to prevent.  
  
"Very good!" Erika said proudly, clapping her hands. "Your father taught you well! So well, that I think you've mastered everything you have to know! All you should do now is practice! I suggest you compose your own music, Hanamichi!"  
  
Sakuragi laughed. "Oh Aunt Erika! I'm so grateful for all your help! In two weeks only! I'm really the genius!" He eyed the piano and Erika caught his gaze. "Do you think someday my music could be heard?"  
  
"Music is the soul Hanamichi. In music, you can express many things. Happiness, sorrow, extreme joy, anger - depending on your mood." She smiled and walked up to him, placing both hands on his shoulders. "I'm very, very proud of you Hanamichi!"  
  
With her encouraging words, Hanamichi vowed that he would compose his own music. And he would dedicate his first song to this kind and wonderful woman. Just as he was thinking of a tune, his stomach gave a loud growl.  
  
"Oh man!" Sakuragi blushed redder than his hair, causing Erika to laugh with amusement.  
  
"Come! I made lasagna!" She continued giggling as Sakuragi's stomach let another loud growl.  
  
*  
  
Sakuragi was on his way home, but stopped. It was ten in the evening, and he did not feel like going home yet. He decided maybe he could go back to school and practice shooting to make up for so many practices that were cut short. Nodding at his decision, he headed for school and gladly found it empty. He assumed Rukawa had long gone home. He took a ball, clad in his uniform minus the blazer and began throwing some two pointers. He missed a few times, but otherwise they all went in. Slowly, he moved towards his three pointers, and began to hum a song he made up as he shot the ball. Surprisingly the ball went in. He blinked rapidly. Those were one of the first few successful three pointers he shot.  
  
"Hey wicked!" He smiled and began to throw another one. Out of twelve shots, eight went in. He could not really say whether it was a fluke or whether he did improve, but he suddenly felt tired. He headed for his bag and unzipped it, taking out a bottle of water. He took a long gulp, his eyes falling in to the violin case that lay hidden under his practice kit. Suddenly itching to play the instrument, he dug it out with eagerness and stood, facing the court, his back to the entrance and exit of the gym. He played a soft note, slowly ascending till he played a rather screeching, ear bursting note. He then began to play a fast song, something that he just gathered from the back of his mind. His music vaguely sounded like old Texan cowboy themes. It was fast, intense and somehow it had a few doses of excitement.  
  
When he was done playing his fingers were blistered that they burned when he touched something. He winced when he held his icy cold bottle. He practiced a few more shots and finally called it a night.  
  
He headed home, his mind composing a song that he would one day perfect and play it for his dear Aunt Erika.  
  
*  
  
Sakuragi entered they gym, a month after mastering the violin holding a music book and pen. He was not aware of several stares falling upon him as he hummed a the soft and emotional tune and jotted down the notes on the book.  
  
"Sakuragi!" Akagi hollered, causing the poor red head to jump, and successfully drawing a long black line across the page of neatly drawn music notes.  
  
"What?" He snapped back, putting the lid back on his inky black pen and shutting his music book shut.  
  
"You're late and you're doing homework? This is no way of a basketball player!" Akagi reasoned.  
  
"Sorry." He said and headed for the locker room to change. Everyone outside was stunned by his apology. That day, he would stay full time, since Erika has some errands to run in her office. She worked as a secretary in a law firm and as a part time job, she taught private students how to play either the piano or the violin.  
  
He stepped out of the locker room in his white shorts and blue vest and joined the team jogging around the court. He was humming the whole time. He did not even noticed that he was paired with Rukawa to do some passing practices since his mind was elsewhere, yet he did extremely well, except that there was less noise.  
  
After practice, Sakuragi suddenly remembered. The contst organized by the ministry of Education was that evening, and he had only an hour to get ready.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He suddenly screamed, dropping the ball that he was supposed to be cleaning with Rukawa, Miyagi and Mitsui since it was their turn.  
  
"What's wrong Sakuragi?" Miyagi asked in concern.  
  
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" He cursed and got up to collect his things. "Listen, I just remembered something very important! And I'm bloody well late! Shit! Sorry, you guys, can you please, please cover up my part of the job? I really have to go!" Without giving any of the three to answer, he bolted out of the gym and in to the night. It was already seven and the contest starts at eight.  
  
He reached his house and nearly tore the place down. He searched his entire closet for his black slacks and when he found, he realized that it needed ironing. He fished around for his white polo shirt and also noticed that it had a hole on the shoulder. Quickly taking out his sewing kit he began to sew the hole together, poking his fingers in the process. He hurriedly began ironing the pant and shirt, and then took a two-minute shower and pulled the garments on. Just as luck had it, he ran out of clean socks. The only one left was his blue ones with red balloons printed all over it. He got it as a gift for Thanksgiving from Youhei and he vowed never to even think of wearing them. But he was desperate now, so ignoring the little ode he made to himself, he pulled the darn socks on and then his shoes. Grabbing his fathers violin, he made a dash for the National theater, and he was already five minutes late.  
  
He was running so fast that he did not see the person walking in front of him. He bumped in to him painfully, causing him to loose his balance and fall against a lamp post. Not wasting time, he quickly said a 'sorry' and continued running to the National theater.  
  
"Was that Sakuragi?" Mitsui asked, helping poor Rukawa up. Kogure eyed the red head disappearing down the street and nodded at Mitsui's direction.  
  
"In formal clothes too." Miyagi commented.  
  
"Wonder what that fool is up to now?" Akagi said loudly.  
  
"Let's follow him!" Mitsui said and everyone agreed.  
  
They were all idiots however, since Sakuragi was long gone and not one of them knew where he went.  
  
*  
  
Sakuragi burst in to the air conditioned theater and hurried down the steps to the master conducting the competition. He was the tallest among all competitors and everyone had to turn around and look at the bob of red hair that drifted way too high for any average person.  
  
"Sorry I'm late!" He said to the conductor, bowing in the process. "Sakuragi Hanamichi, contestant number eight."  
  
"Very well." The conductor nodded, pushing up his glasses. His gray eyes reflected great experience and passion for music. The graying hair and black suit went with the whole get up. "Please sit amongst the twelve contestants over there and wait till you're called."  
  
Nodding, Sakuragi joined the other nine contestants. Four of which were girls and the rest were boys. They looked a bit older than him by a year or two, but never the less, he somehow blended in well, because of his masculine features and tall muscular built.  
  
Several contestants came and went and Sakuragi's turn finally arrived. He suddenly remembered that Erika was supposed to be there, but he found her nowhere. He reasoned with himself that maybe she was somewhere in the back, so he bravely went on the stage and bowed, causing a polite round of applause by several watchers. He positioned himself to play, and strum a long low note first, gradually increasing the pace until he produced a soft, joyful and at the same time sorrowful song.  
  
As he played, memories of how he first joined the basketball club filled his mind. There were flashes of Mitsui terrorizing their practice when he was still in his gangster days. There were few glimpses of their hard training and finally their games against Shoyo, Kainan and Ryonan. Then they became personal, like how he and his army would hang out, memorable events like Thanksgiving and Christmas. It gradually became moments he had with his father when he was teaching him the violin and his mother proudly watching her two 'boys'. His eyes were closed as he played, and he did not notice the crowd watching him biting back tears since his music has probably stirred several happy and perhaps sad ones within the audience.  
  
Strumming the last note, he finally breathed. He opened his eyes and bowed politely. He got a very intense cheer from the crowds and several glad clapping and hooting from the contestants themselves. He made his way to his seat and sat down, and felt as if a weight was just lifted off his chest. He got several comments on his music by his fellow contestants. However, in his mind, he silently prayed that Erika was there cheering for him and that his mother and father in heaven were smiling down at him.  
  
The contest went on and finally a half an hour break was given to everyone. Drinks and little cakes were given as refreshments. Sakuragi took a can of Sprite and stood in front of a large window. From afar, he noticed that an accident has occurred and that the paramedics were taking care of things. Shrugging, he headed back for the hall, and awaited the judges decision.  
  
"Third place goes to Ruriko Takagami!" Sakuragi clapped his hands as he wished the petite brunette with the widest green eyes a happy 'well done'. She went up to the stage and collected a small plaque and a bouquet of red roses. "Second place goes to Hiko Kayamaru." Sakuragi nodded with a smile at the boy with shoulder length blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. "Finally, first place, ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm applause for Sakuragi Hanamichi." Everyone cheered loudly.  
  
Sakuragi's jaw dropped. He was frozen in his position for good twenty seconds. He shakily headed for the stage and collected his golden plaque and his gift voucher along with the bouquet of roses. He blushed deeply as he got another round of applause and a friendly kiss from Ruriko and a brotherly hug form Hiko.  
  
But his eyes wandered in the endless crowd. He could not find his dear Aunt Erika anywhere.  
  
*  
  
The weekend passed and Sakuragi could not reach Erika at all. She tried her house and no one was there. It was a rather gloom Monday morning for Sakuragi and he was not paying attention to his surroundings. He suddenly heard murmurs and a few surprised glances being cast at his direction. He paid no attention to these and got on with classes.  
  
During practice, he was the first to arrive. Akagi, Miyagi, Mitsui, Rukawa and the other sophomores and freshmen piled in to the locker room, talking in awed and surprised tones, minus Rukawa. Sakuragi had just finished unbuttoning his blazer when a hand slapped him in a so-called affectionate way in his back.  
  
"You idiot!" Miyagi said, grinning. "You never told us you won the contest!"  
  
"Huh?" Sakuragi asked, blinking in mere surprise.  
  
"Look at this!" Mitsui pointed at an article in the newspaper which had the picture taken at the moment Ruriko kissed him and Hiko hugged him. "Everyone is talking about it!"  
  
"Oh ." Sakuragi blushed beet root. Rukawa eyed him closely, face free of emotion, but eyes filled with pride at what an achievement Sakuragi has reached. "I - well - umm - you see -"  
  
"So that's why you kept leaving early during practices." Akagi nodded, with a small smile. "You were practicing for this."  
  
Ayako and Kogure entered the room suddenly, doubled back and breathing hard. "What's wrong?" Mitsui asked.  
  
"Sakuragi!" Kogure said. "A call. Principal - hospital - you - go - something - aunt -"  
  
"What the hell? Calm down! I don't get a word." Sakuragi said.  
  
Ayako sucked in a breath and stood straight. "Sakuragi, the principal was looking for you. Your Aunt Erika?"  
  
Sakuragi took a step forward. "What about her?"  
  
"Sakuragi, she's in the hospital and has been unconscious for the past two days. She was in a car accident." Kogure finished, eyes cast down.  
  
All eyes fell on Sakuragi, mirroring pity and worry. He was holding his shorts in one hand and that drifted to the floor. He pushed passed everyone and made a dash for the hospital. Everyone followed him, worried and concerned and at the same time, everyone wanted to be there in case he broke down.  
  
*  
  
"I want to see my Aunt Erika!" He demanded. The nurse, out of fear, gave him Erika's room. Several other tall players followed the red head, causing several nursing staff to turn and look. He reached Erika's door and threw it open. He found his aunt lying on the bed with several bandages on her limbs and screaming bruise on her right cheek. Ayako gasped and tears began to flow down her cheeks. All the players could only look away, but Sakuragi bravely walked up to her and took her dainty hand in his big ones.  
  
"Aunt Erika?" Sakuragi called out. A hand fell on his shoulder, and it turned out to be Rukawa's.  
  
"Don't worry she'll be okay." He whispered.  
  
"Hanamichi?" Erika's eyes opened and her hand squeezed Sakuragi's lovingly. "My, my! Are these your friends?"  
  
"Yes Aunt Erika! These are my teammates." He said and kissed her hand. "What happened Aunt Erika?"  
  
"Hanamichi, I'm sorry I could be there when you played in the National Theater." She coughed and this caused Ayako to get her a glass of water. "Thank you dear. You must be Ayako." The girl nodded and smiled. "And you tall silent one is Rukawa the fox?" The boy blushed a bit. "That must be Akagi the gorilla, Kogure the glasses-man, Mitsui the old-man and Miyagi the small fry!" All the players threw glares at Sakuragi who grinned sheepishly in return. "It's so good to meet your friends Hanamichi!"  
  
Sakuragi turned to his teammates. "Could I - could I have a moment with her alone please?" He asked. Everyone smiled and nodded in understanding, and slowly piled out of the room. Rukawa left last, giving Sakuragi a pat on the shoulder before leaving. Sakuragi suddenly blushed as the little contact sent shivers down his spine.  
  
"Maa! Hanamichi, you like that fox?" Erika joked.  
  
"What? No!" Sakuragi said, blushing redder than his hair. They both let out peels of laughter. Sakuragi got serious and took Erika's hand. "Aunt Erika, what happened?"  
  
"My car lost its brakes. I was driving fast towards the National Theater that I failed to notice the car coming out from one of the streets. Sorry if I got you really worried." Sakuragi dipped his head. "Sakuragi, you see that box over there?" Sakuragi turned to find a red velvet case lying on the round wooden table by the window. "Go on. That's for you."  
  
Sakuragi got up and headed for the table. He opened the case and inside, he found an ivory white violin with the shiniest bow he has ever seen. His jaw dropped. "Aunt Erika!"  
  
"I had it made especially for you, Hanamichi. This is a gift from me. I hope that you will treasure this and keep it. Do not let your musical talents go to waste. Promise me that Hanamichi." She said firmly.  
  
"Yes Aunt Erika! For you and for father, I will treasure my musical talents." He took the violin out and smiled at Erika.  
  
Erika smiled weakly. "Hanamichi, will you kindly play for me?"  
  
Sakuragi nodded and positioned himself to play. He stood in front of the window, the setting sunrays glowing upon him. He played a soft tune, something that he had wanted to play for Erika and only her. He composed that for her, to thank her for her kind help and encouragements. The tune was fast paced, but soft at the same time. It made people listening see beautiful things. His eyes were closed as he played each note with love and passion.  
  
People beyond the room stopped to listen, and the entire team were awed by the beautiful music. Erika along with Rukawa outside listened with an open heart. Sakuragi continued playing until the sun completely vanished from the horizon. He placed the violin on the table and looked at Erika.  
  
"Ne, Aunt Erika? I composed that only for you. Did you like it?" He got no answer and he lost his smile. "Aunt Erika?" He called out and approached her. He shook her lightly and got no answer. "No! No, aunt Erika you can't do this!" He shouted and fell on his knees, fist balled on the floor and head dipped down. "Please Aunt Erika! Please wake up. Don't leave me! I don't want to be alone anymore!"  
  
Outside, Rukawa heard him and quickly went in. He hugged Sakruagi from behind and comforted him. "I'll be by your side, Sakuragi."  
  
"Aunt Erika!" Sakuragi yelled.  
  
*  
  
Sakuragi walked back home after the funeral. It had been raining, and he was no drenched. The whole team was there and he could only stare with silent tears cascading down his cheeks.  
  
Rukawa asked him if he was going to be fine, and he could only look in to his deep blue orbs and broke down crying even more. Rukawa had hugged him tight, gave him warmth and ran his fingers through his red hair as he cried on his shoulder.  
  
"I'd like to be alone Rukawa." He whispered, sniffing.  
  
"I'll be there if you need anything." Rukawa said. Sakuragi nodded and headed for his home, in the cold hard rain.  
  
Now, once inside his empty and cold house, he took out his white violin. He began to play a very hard and intense music. He was moving his fingers hard against the strings that he did not notice that he already cut them and that it was bleeding already, staining the ivory white brand new violin.  
  
He needed someone. Someone to hold him and be there beside him. Picking up the phone, he punched in Rukawa's number. It rang three times before a deep hello could be heard. "Rukawa?" He asked, voice hoarse and dry from crying.  
  
"Sakuragi!" He said in surprise.  
  
"Rukawa, could you come over. I - I need you. Please, I - God I need you with me!" He cried, tears coming out once again.  
  
"I'll be right there Sakuragi. Wait for me." He said and Sakruagi dropped the phone. He leaned against the hallway wall and cried a river. He did not notice time fly by and the next thing he knew, the doorbell was ringing. He got up and opened it, his fingers still bleeding slightly. He found a soaking Rukawa and he threw himself on the pale guy. "Hanamichi." He whispered and hugged him hard, kissing his forehead. "Come, let's get you dry! You'll catch a cold."  
  
Rukawa led Sakruagi to his room and slowly undressed him till he had nothing on at ll. He laid Hanamichi on the bed and sat beside him. "Rukawa, don't leave me." Sakuragi begged, eyes red. Rukawa stood up and stripped off his garments and joined Sakuragi in the bed. He pulled the huge blue comforter over them both. He pulled Sakuragi close to him and began to draw invisible circles in the latter's fine muscled back.  
  
"Hanamichi, look at me." Rukawa said and the latter followed. "No matter what, I'm always here okay? Count on me." He said and smiled. Sakuragi raised a hand to trace his smile, dried tears now nothing but a memory.  
  
"Your smile." He whispered and brushed ebony locks off his pale face. "Kaede ."  
  
Rukawa pulled Hanamichi in to a kiss, gently licking his lips before biting it, coaxing it open. Sakuragi closed his eyes and allowed Rukawa to push his warm tongue in. Sakuragi sucked in a shaky breath as he kissed him back, hands roaming each other's body. Rukawa felt something warm and wet slid down his cheek. He slowly pulled away and found Sakuragi looking at him with teary eyes.  
  
"Hanamichi - did I -" Sakuragi just snuggled close to him and closed his eyes. Rukawa smiled again and lay down, holding his dearest red head as close to him as possible.  
  
"Rukawa, I'm glad. That there is another person who will care for me and be there for me." He said and closed his eyes falling in to a dreamless sleep.  
  
Rukawa could only smile and look out the window. A star shone brightly and he too closed his eyes. "I've always cared for you Hanamichi. Always, because I love you."  
  
  
  
OWARI (Finished July 7, 2002 - 9:40 PM Philippines time)  
  
Err . right, I kinda cried. Hee hee .. grabe! Parang akong tanga! Like it or hate it? 


End file.
